It Doesn’t Have to be Lonely at the Top.

Recently, a client said to me, “It’s lonely at the top.” This person was feeling the weight of making major decisions that affect their company, their customers, employees, and shareholders. These are decisions that often must be made without clear or complete information; stakeholders might criticize them; and the impact may not be understood for months or years to come.

Such is the role of CEOs, Presidents, COOs and any other leader at the top of the organization chart. In very visible roles, they are the object of great scrutiny, criticism, compliments, and awards. There is rarely an “off” button in their 24/7 schedules. Instead, there’s a constant sacrifice of personal time and unending requests to accomplish more in their positions.

Every personal comment or behavior is considered a reflection of the organizations they lead. The vast amount of business information they consume, discussions they engage in, crises they manage through, and the overall organizational health is discussed only by the select few leaders with whom they can confide.

It’s common for these leaders to talk about missing their children’s events, not taking all of their “allotted” time off, multitasking on business calls during family vacations, working through the weekend, and more.

And even with this knowledge, “it’s lonely at the top” because until you sit in their seat, you cannot fully appreciate the weight of the role; the physical, emotional, and mental demands, and the everyday challenges in accomplishing the goals of the organization.

How to be less lonely?

If you’re in one of these leadership roles, it’s important to use a variety of approaches to achieve greater balance. Here are some tips.

  • Find a mentor. Someone who has held a similar role in the past, who understands the environment, can provide insights on how to achieve greater balance, and share their approaches to challenges.
  • Find a coach. Someone to partner with in improving leadership skills, managing complex situations, setting goals, and ensuring professional growth. Frequently, coaches use assessment tools to better understand personality traits and help leaders to use their natural styles to become more effective.
  • Join a group of sitting CEOs. Peer learning groups can be effective in providing feedback, asking key questions, and providing a supportive environment to leaders with similar responsibilities. It’s a place of confidentiality where they can let down their guard and glean insights from one another.
  • Find advisors. Think of leaders whose expertise you respect, who may have provided valuable perspectives in the past. They may be your direct reports, colleagues in other industries, or past co-workers. Connect with them periodically to maintain relationships, discuss current events, and gain a better understanding of issues.
  • Identify trusted team members. Identify one or two individuals who report to you, who are trusted to give you transparent but respectful feedback. They are invested in the success of the organization and your leadership, and see you in a variety of contexts that others are not privy to.
  • Nurture relationships with trusted friends. While you can’t share confidential information with them, these are people who keep you grounded, provide balance, have a broad appreciation of the demands of your role, and can help you enjoy non-work aspects of life. They can hold you accountable to family responsibilities and let you know when you’re off base.
  • Prioritize family members. No position should be more important than your family. Hopefully, you have nurtured these relationships for years and continue to find ways to be present for them, meet their needs, and show mutual value.
  • Read and learn. As the business, political and global environments continue to shift, so must your knowledge of competitive threats and opportunities. The skills and knowledge required of CEOs have become more complex in recent years, and it’s important to carefully consider every decision in these new contexts.
  • Journal. This is a time for reflection, improving self-awareness, and prioritizing every aspect of your life. Focus on your personal vision to ensure it continues to align with the organizational vision and interests.

Building Community

All leaders need a truth-teller. Someone who is able and willing to speak into their life and tell them when they’re off base or need to rethink what they’re doing. Truth-tellers reflect the leader’s beliefs and behaviors back to them, and these approaches provide the environment for this to happen. The goal is to create a sense of community for leaders to feel more supported and to experience growth, as they manage a myriad of stakeholder expectations.

Left unchecked, “loneliness” translates into inappropriate behaviors, insular decisions and communications, and may show a need to improve emotional intelligence. Building community strengthens leaders’ capabilities and capacity. It doesn’t have to be lonely at the top.

Copyright 2025 Priscilla Archangel.
Photo from iStock, Pict Rider

Want more leadership tips read past leadership articles or check out the book LeaderVantage.