relationships

Making Connections

July 10, 2024

Communication, Leadership, Problem Solving, Relationships

Making Connections

I’ve become a recent fan of playing the New York Times’ daily puzzles online, and one of my favorites is Connections. Sixteen words are provided, and the goal is to form four groups of four words that are in some way connected. You have to figure out what the connection is, and you get four mistakes, after which the game ends and the correct answers pop up. For example, on the day that I’m writing this, four connected words are bar, dinner, liberty, and tinker. They’re all “words before ‘bell’”.

When I first started playing, I would find two or three words that appeared to be obviously connected. But finding the last one or two for a group proved elusive. My initial thoughts about the connections were generally wrong. Then, I would look up definitions to refresh my memory on how they were used. I’d think about informal uses of words, and different ways of how they might be linked. The good news is, once I got the first three groups, the last one was obvious (there were only four words left!), even if I didn’t understand why they were connected. (more…)

Orchestras and Teams: Playing in Tune

March 6, 2024

Priscilla Archangel

Leadership, Relationships, Team, Team Building, teamwork

Orchestras and Teams: Playing in Tune

Many years ago, when I was newly appointed as the leader of a large team, I met with them to introduce myself and to learn more about them. And I shared an analogy that continues to ring true in my mind today; that we’re an orchestra and I was their conductor.

The conductor’s role is to have a finely tuned ear to distinguish how well the orchestra is performing, and if necessary, identify the steps needed to perform at the level expected to deliver a masterpiece. Similarly, the leader’s role is to distinguish how well the team is performing, and to provide coaching and guidance to reach their goals and objectives. (more…)

Whose Tank Have You Filled?

January 4, 2023

Priscilla Archangel

Acknowlegement, Affirmation, Leadership, Motivation, Relationships

Whose Tank Have You Filled?

I recently facilitated an end of year meeting with one of my clients and allocated time for each person to share what they appreciated about every one of their colleagues. We were meeting virtually, and each person was invited to put their thoughts in a group chat, so that the recipient could go back to it later and reread it. As the facilitator, this was about them, not me, so I wasn’t even thinking about asking for their comments about me.

But just before we ended the meeting, someone said, “What about Priscilla?” Then they all began to type in their words of affirmation for me. I must admit that when I read it, I got a little emotional. I didn’t realize the impact that my consulting had on them over the past two years. It also motivated me to dig deeper, continue growing personally and pour into the leaders and organizations that I’m honored to serve. It energized me, tapped into my strengths, and reinforced where I can add value. (more…)

Building Meaningful Leadership Relationships

June 1, 2022

Priscilla Archangel

Leadership, Relationships

Building Meaningful Leadership Relationships

“The leader of the past was a person who knew how to tell. The leader of the future will be a person who knows how to ask.”
Peter F. Drucker, management consultant

This is a profound quote that made me think of another difference between leaders of the past and leaders of the future.

The leader of the past was a person who had a hierarchical relationship with their team. The leader of the future will be a person who has a warm and meaningful relationship with their team. (more…)

The 4Rs of Organizational Self-Care

November 3, 2021

Priscilla Archangel

Leadership, Life Work Balance, Relationships, Self-Care

The 4Rs of Organizational Self-Care

The past 19 months have provided an abrupt recognition to many people about the importance of personal self-care. It’s been a wake-up call for individuals to make decisions that support their mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health needs. And while many organizations have adopted new policies and practices to support this, the whole topic of organizational self-care is an opportunity to strategically plan how leaders can support their current and prospective team members to provide an environment where they can thrive.

The reasons for its importance should be clear by now. With attrition rates rising (The Great Resignation), reports on increasingly aggressive behavior in public places (airplanes, stores, and schools to name a few), and a general unease in the workplace (as reported by a variety of leaders with whom I’ve spoken), we have to approach work differently in the future. Worker shortages along with high unemployment, are evidence of a great reset on the number of people available and interested in the types of jobs that are open. The proof of that is our recognition of the difficulty in finding a salesperson in a store, a server in a restaurant, and a delivery date for a desired item; along with employers dealing with increased time-to-hire. (more…)

Six Steps to Building Trust in Relationships

March 6, 2019

Priscilla Archangel

Relationships

Six steps to building trust in relationships

While many of us intellectually understand the importance of building trusting relationships, we don’t always demonstrate it.

Consider the case of Cathy. She was recently appointed as VP responsible for relationship management for her firm’s largest client. The interactions between the client and her predecessor became rocky and she must quickly smooth things out and prove that her company can provide value added products and services. The fact that her company was voted by an industry panel as providing “best in class” products doesn’t carry enough weight. It’s all about building a trusting relationship so that the customer feels their needs are being met.

And then there’s Derek. He just joined a major retailer and is tasked with turning around their relationship with their franchisees which has become contentious over the past several years. The company is trying to convince the franchisees to invest money in upgrading their stores and provide new menu options, but he first must restore trust that the marketing strategies will drive traffic and increase revenue. Derek is not fully convinced that the company has the right plans, but he needs to quickly understand their needs and make sure there is proper alignment. (more…)

Life Interrupting Work

March 7, 2018

Priscilla Archangel

Life Work Balance, Priorities, Relationships

Life Interrupting Work

For most leaders who are results oriented, high powered and fast paced, life is work. But what happens when life interrupts work?

Several weeks ago, one of my best and oldest friends passed away. I had the privilege of spending the last few days of her life with her, as I canceled my role in leading a meeting and rushed to the airport in tears to catch an earlier flight than originally planned to see her. It was a precious time that I wouldn’t trade for anything. But it impacted me more than I realized. Only several weeks later did I realize some of the work-related things that totally slipped my mind while I was supporting her family and processing my loss.

About 8 months ago, I was facilitating a meeting of women business owners and casually stated that I wasn’t at an earlier meeting because…then I suddenly burst into tears….sobbing! The good news is that I was in a “safe space” where they were very supportive, though confused because it came with no warning. I was finally able to communicate that the memory of missing their earlier meeting triggered the recognition that it was because my husband was having a heart transplant at that time. And for some reason, my emotions came pouring out uncontrollably. (more…)

A Relationship of Trust

April 28, 2013

Priscilla Archangel

Character, Leadership

A Relationship of Trust

How do you determine who to trust? How much trust can you place in those around you, and how much can you trust them with?

A recent story chronicling the “re-education” of Mark Zuckerberg in the April 29^th edition of Fortune provides a good example. With the fast paced growth of social media, apps and smart phones, Facebook needed an effective wireless strategy. This was the next big shift in technology, and if they missed it, the young company’s phenomenal successes could be short lived. Zuck, as he is commonly called by those in the business, turned to Mike Schroepfer his Chief Technology Officer, and Cory Ondrejka who was in charge of mobile engineering. Cory had co-founded Linden Lab which created the virtual world Second Life, and later started a tech company that Facebook recently purchased. It was Cory who proposed not only restarting their current mobile efforts again from scratch, which would take precious time, but doing so in the midst of the much publicized IPO when investor scrutiny on their technology problems would be especially intense.

After much discussion Zuck approved that approach, even though as he said, it was against his instincts. According to the article, his decision paid off as Facebook launched a new iPhone app in August 2012that has received top ratings in the App Store. While it may be too early to determine the long term success of that decision, there’s great learning in the “process” of making it.

So why would Zuck decide to trust the recommendation of these two men, even when it ran contrary to his normal approach and instincts? Because he trusted them. At that moment he made a conscious decision to place greater faith in their experience, analysis and resulting recommendation, than in his own. If they were wrong, he had more to lose than anyone else. The potential impact to his reputation and respect, his company, and his wealth could suffer a significant and possibly irretrievable blow. But he knew that the current strategy wasn’t working, and he had to try something different, so he bought into it and exercised trust.

Active Trust

This type of trust in others is earned. Its an active verb, and it’s a choice. It comes as a result of several foundational elements.

Confidence – belief in their abilities and their motives, that they’re reliable and dependable.

Capability – they have expertise, past proven successes, and experience in a specific critical area.

Consistency – exhibiting the same behavior and communicating the same values repeatedly such that it’s easy to predict their responses.

Collaboration – willingness to work with others, exchange ideas and leverage the strengths of others in coming up with solutions to problems.

Confidentiality – using good judgment in communications with others, and ensuring that information is shared only as necessary with appropriate persons.

Now think of situations where you’ve placed a great deal of trust in someone else.

· You trust your physician with your health.

· You trust your business partner with your work.

· You trust your financial planner with your investments.

· You trust your spouse with your heart.

· You trust your friends with your happiness.

· You trust your work team with your ideas and strategies.

· You trust your boss with your career.

And yet you retain a measure of control over these “trusting” relationships, balancing the right amount of confidence, capability, consistency, collaboration and confidentiality that you place in them, with what they provide in return. It’s a reciprocal relationship, reinforced or weakened by every action or counter-action. You can “remove” the trust at any time, almost immediately, whether for cause or for instinct.

Rock Climbing Trust

So how do you grow to trust someone? And how much are you willing to trust them? For any productivity to occur we must trust others, because we’re incapable of finding fulfillment, achieving our goals, or attaining significance in life without having trusting relationships. And at the same time, we must display these same characteristics so that others will place their trust in us. But your ability to trust others is based in part on your ability to trust yourself. It is based on your ability to demonstrate the 5Cs in the same manner that you want others to demonstrate it. So because Zuck is able to experience and exhibit confidence, capability, consistency, collaboration and confidentiality, he recognizes it and shares it with others.

I recognize that I’ll never be able to trust someone else in a certain area, unless I overcome my personal fears in that area. For instance, I have no desire togo skydiving. As someone eloquently said, why would I jump out of a perfectly good airplane? My fear of having only a parachute on me at ten thousand feet above ground has nothing to do with my trust in the instructor or the pilot. It has everything to do with ME. And unless I deal with that fear, I’ll never learn to trust them. Similarly, while I might step on a narrow boulder a few feet off the ground, I cannot imagine ever (did I say ever) rock climbing and stepping up on a boulder thousands of feet off the ground (see the picture). I’m afraid of that height and don’t trust my ability to master such a feat. Before I perform either act, I’d first have to learn to trust myself and gain more confidence, capability and collaboration before I could trust others to help me do it. The same is true in marriage relationships and business relationships.

So instead of examining others to determine if they’re worthy of our trust, we must first decide if we’re worthy of theirs. Do we display confidence, capability, consistency, collaboration and confidentiality? Do we behave in a manner that would make others want to trust us? Do we use those trusting behaviors to support others in their goals in a manner that creates a reciprocal relationship? I encourage you to practice these characteristics to build your relationships of trust.

Read the Fortune article by Jesse Hemphill here.

Water and Trust – Priceless

November 4, 2011

Priscilla Archangel

Faith Based Leadership

Water and Trust – Priceless

What is your most valuable and powerful commodity? Many of you might say money, your home, or investments. As important as those are, I believe your most valuable commodity is water. This may surprise some of you, but think about it. If you live in America, you are rich in this natural resource because you generally have access to clean water, and use it constantly throughout the day.

I admittedly use water like I have an unlimited supply. I take wonderfully long hot showers, I run the water constantly while performing tasks like brushing my teeth or rinsing off dishes. I put small loads in the washing machine. During the summer I water my lawn at least every other day. I buy bottled drinking water because I like the taste. I pay for all of this water usage, but the cost is easy to rationalize because of its importance to me. Yet, I take the availability of water for granted.

Over 70% of the earth’s surface is covered by water, however, millions of people in underdeveloped or war torn nations lack access to clean drinking water, and suffer from sickness and diseases as a result. Water is basic need and a common commodity throughout the entire world, but uneven supply and cultural differences in demand result in great variability in the cost of obtaining it.

IStockPhoto

Trust

Thinking about the value of water to the environment led me to focus on organizations as an entity or environment, and to ponder the most basic yet valuable thing needed to make them function. It occurred to me that trust is that fundamental element. Trust is the foundation upon which all positive relationships are built. Steven M. R. Covey, author of The Speed of Trust (2006, CoveyLink, LLC) describes trust as a requirement for the credibility and empowerment of organizations, financial systems and human interactions.

Like water, we sometimes take trust for granted in how we communicate with our employees, our customers, our shareholders or our stakeholders. There are plenty of examples in the past decade of corporate CEOs and financial leaders who abused the trust of the people they served, and many paid for it with their jobs, their bank accounts, their freedom, or their health. Organizational leaders may wrongly assume that their employees will remain loyal and inspired to put forth extra effort for the success of the team, in spite of failure to acknowledge the employees own needs.

Like water, we sometimes use trust as if there’s an unlimited supply, until one day we find ourselves in a crisis of short supply. The cistern of trust, like a cistern of water, is depleted because it’s constantly being used without being replenished.

Like water, lack of trust may result in organizational sickness or malfunction. Low trust breeds insecurity, instability and incapability. Ultimately the inner glue that binds a team together dries up, and it falls apart.

Like water, trust is a basic human need. It’s used to build relationships and connections between people as a basis for accomplishing goals and objectives.

Like water, trust can be gained by gathering it. The steady consistent drip of a faucet will ultimately fill a bathtub. The steady consistent actions of leaders will build a reserve of trust.

Like water, trust is a precious commodity. A certain amount of it must be saved and preserved for a drought or time of need.

Like water, that same pool of trust can quickly dissipate. Strike a big hole in the side of a container of water and it splashes out onto the ground never to be gathered again. Similarly, a single significant despicable act can destroy trust forever.

Building A Reservoir of Trust

How do you build trust in your organization? Do you fully recognize its value and treat it as a priceless commodity, or do you take its existence for granted? Building trust requires the active demonstration of care and sincerity between people. It provides refreshment to the soul, and like water it lubricates and smoothes the rough patches in our daily interactions. Trust overlooks inadvertent slights and missteps. Trust looks for the good, and assumes the best. What’s the trust level in your organization?

Making Connections

Orchestras and Teams: Playing in Tune

Whose Tank Have You Filled?

Building Meaningful Leadership Relationships

The 4Rs of Organizational Self-Care

Six steps to building trust in relationships

Life Interrupting Work

A Relationship of Trust

Water and Trust – Priceless

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