Asking Better Questions Leads to Better Answers
Asking Better Questions Leads to Better Answers
Has it ever occurred to you that the quality of the answers you receive is dependent on the quality of the questions you ask? Consider these three conversations.
- I talked with a coachee about some career decisions he was facing. After a lengthy discussion of the pros and cons, he asked me point blank, “What should I do?” My response was to ask him a question; “Where is your heart?” He paused then responded with a definitive answer. The right questions culminated in the most important one to help him decide.
- I met with a leadership team and asked them a set of questions about their business. Going into the meeting it appeared as if they knew many of the answers. But by the time we finished the meeting, it was clear that they saw value in spending more time discussing and determining their plan of action. Taking the time to dig into the original questions opened the door to underlying issues that needed to be addressed.
- I met with a different leadership team regarding a new initiative for their organization. They asked me questions about my experience in their area of interest. I asked them questions to understand why they were undertaking this challenge. It was an interesting and thought-provoking discussion as we both walked away with more questions on our minds. But we recognized that the appropriate timing for asking and answering the next set of questions would come in the future.
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That’s the refrain from a number of my female (and some male) colleagues and friends who reluctantly admit a time when they were the target of unwanted and inappropriate attention from someone. These are accomplished, influential people who found themselves in a situation where a more powerful person demanded undeserved, intimate fulfillment. The demands may have come by way of improper or sexually themed text messages, a “gentle” but suggestive touch on the arm, a lewd remark at the bar, an expectation to continue a business conversation over drinks and dinner, an out of town meeting scheduled in a hotel suite where suddenly everyone else leaves the room, and the list goes on.