Exposed
“Secrets suck,” said Tyler Hamilton, former cyclist and team member of Lance Armstrong on the U.S. Postal Service Team. Hamilton was interviewed by the Wall Street Journal’s Jason Gay the day after Oprah Winfrey aired Armstrong’s recent admission that he took banned substances to enhance his cycling performance. He doped, and he lied about it. Armstrong said that he wouldn’t have won seven Tour de France medals without having done so. Over the years, others accused him of doping, and he not only vehemently denied it, he also bullied his accusers. Meanwhile he made tens of millions of dollars from endorsements, and started the successful Livestrong Foundation to support people with cancer and to further cancer research.
Hamilton himself exposed his own secrets regarding their drug use in his new book “The Secret Race,” with co-author Daniel Coyle. When he began talking with Coyle, his words came out very slowly, like water trickling from a faucet. The process of exposing his dishonesty to the world was slow and difficult. Hamilton saw the same difficulty in Armstrong’s public confession with Winfrey. Hamilton’s point was that the process of admitting and confessing a very public and long held deception is a slow progression, best mastered one step at a time.
Come Clean
Hamilton and Armstrong aren’t the first to go through such a process. Other high profile leaders have been forcibly exposed or “come clean” and admitted the truth after years of pretense and cover-up. But such behavior is not limited to public figures. People at every socioeconomic level are vulnerable to it. The desire to conceal past wrongs; present a more positive image of oneself; to be smarter, better, stronger and more successful than others becomes compelling and sometimes addictive.
- Bernie Madoff was revered for the returns received by investors in his funds until the truth about his Ponzi scheme, thought to be the largest financial fraud in U.S. history at roughly $65 billion, was uncovered. He pleaded guilty to all the charges and is now serving a 150 year prison term.
- Russell Wasendorf, Sr, founder of PGFBest attempted suicide after federal regulators discovered that hundreds of millions of dollars were missing and from and non-existent in his company’s financial accounts.
- Trevor Cook deceived more than 700 investors in a Ponzi scheme worth hundreds of millions of dollars. He’s now serving a 25 year jail sentence.
- President Richard Nixon lied about his actions related to the Watergate scandal and ended up resigning.
- President Bill Clinton lied about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky and was subsequently impeached by the House of Representatives.
- Tiger Woods’ multiple marital infidelities were exposed leading to the loss of his marriage and several sponsors, and seemed to negatively impact the quality of his golf game.
- James Frey’s autobiography, “A Million Pieces” was Oprah’s book club pick until it was discovered that key portions of his story were fictitious. He returned to Oprah’s show to tearfully admit that substance abuse was the cause of his lies.
While the act of lying is no worse whether you’re famous or unknown, whether it’s “big” one or a “little white lie” (what is that anyway?), the difference is in the impact on the people who look up to you for leadership, those who believe in you. Those are the people who are hurt.
Lies
Just like your mother told you when you were a child, if you tell one lie, you have to tell another to cover it up, and still another, until it’s difficult to remember who you lied to and which lie you told.
The purpose here is not to castigate Armstrong, Hamilton or anyone else who may be guilty of this. All of us on some level may have perpetrated a lie at some point in our lives; and hopefully, thankfully we repented and were forgiven. Rather the purpose is to understand that lying or any behavior that presents an image of someone we’re not, of a capability that we don’t really possess, of a behavior that is not truthful, is a secret that eventually will reveal itself.
When we lie to others, we’re keeping a secret that is a contradiction from the truth. We have to continue to repress the truth and “justify” the lie….that it’s for the good of others, that it’s not anyone else’s business, that it’s not hurting anyone, that others can’t handle the truth. The reality is that we ourselves can’t handle the truth; that we’re running from reality; that we don’t want to fall off the pedestal that we’ve been placed on. But coming off that pedestal has to happen for us to face our humanness, our flaws, sometimes our demons, and begin the road to recovery. Few secrets can be kept forever. Someone knows, someone tells, someone makes a mistake in the cover-up ritual. It can be painful, and unfortunately, some have preferred suicide rather than facing the truth. But the truth eventually brings peace and healing as we reconcile the facts of who we know we are, with who others know us to be.
As leaders our responsibility is far greater to be authentic, admit and learn from our mistakes, and encourage others to do the same. Whether leading a team at work, or leading your family, whether a public pronouncement or a private commitment, like Tyler Hamilton said, “secrets suck”. They can cause internal stress and anxiety that knows no relief until the truth comes out. So focus on truthfulness because that’s where you’ll find peace.
Read the article in the Wall Street Journal here.